If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

I am an agnostic pagan. I doubt the existence of many gods.

Make God laugh – plan for the future.

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”

Adam to Eve: I’ll wear the plants in this family!

And on the 8th day God said, OK Murphy, you take over.

Blessed are the Fundamentalists, for they shall inhibit the earth.

If money is the root of all evil, why do churches want it so badly?

Jesus loves you. Then again, so does Barney.

That was Zen. This is Tao.

Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister…

Sects, sects, sects. Is that all you monks ever think about?

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies, probably because they are generally the same people.

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won’t get much sleep.

To YOU I’m an atheist. To God, I’m the Loyal Opposition.

On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said: let’s see the evolutionists try to figure this one out.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

If you freeze to death and end up in hell… wouldn’t you be really comfortable some point along the way?

If God is inside us, then I hope he likes fajitas, cause that’s what he’s getting.

Go thou and sin more creatively next time.