A man owned a small farm in Scotland. The Inland Revenue claimed he was not paying proper wages to his staff and sent a representative out to interview him.

‘I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,’ demanded the rep.

‘Well,’ replied the farmer, ‘there’s my farm hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him  £200 a week plus free room and board.’

‘The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her  £150 per week plus free room and board.’

‘Then there’s the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about  £10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of whiskey every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.’

‘That’s the guy I want to talk to…the half-wit,’ says the agent.

‘That would be me,’ replied the farmer.