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Humor

Oops… Stupid Quotes by Famous People: Political Parapraxis

Politicians are just as famous for their well rehearsed and practiced speeches, as they are for their slip ups when they need to speak without the luxury of a speech writer. Thus, their funniest and often inadvertent, but undoubtedly hilarious quotes are those that are said at press conferences and interviews. Given below is a list of political faux pas that will leave you in splits:

“Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, “Thank God, I’m still alive.” But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again.” – Barbara Boxer, Senator

“I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger

“Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that.” – Bill Clinton, former U.S. President

“We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe.” – Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

“It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago” – Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

“It’s time for the human race to enter the solar system!” – Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President on the concept of a manned mission to Mars

“It isn’t pollution that is hurting the environment, it’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.” – Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

“We are not ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur.” – Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

“If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.” – Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

“We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally.” – Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister

“I cannot tell you how grateful I am — I am filled with humidity.” – Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House

“And now, will y’all stand and be recognized.” – Gib Lewis, Texas Speaker of the House, to a group of people in wheelchairs on Disability Day

“China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.” – Charles De Gaulle, former French President

“I’m someone who has a deep emotional attachment to Starsky and Hutch.” – Bill Clinton, former U.S. President

“Sure, it’s going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.” – Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board, on chlordane.

“I didn’t realize I was in a Buddhist temple.” – Al Gore, former U.S. Vice President when asked about his illegal fundraising activities that took place in a Buddhist temple.

“Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything.” – Ivana Trump, on finishing her first novel

“I do not like this word “bomb.” It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding.” – Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons

“Traditionally, most of Australia’s imports come from overseas.” – Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery

“If you’re living in an area with a bad school, move to a place where there’s a better school.” – Lamar Alexander, former Secretary of Education, explaining his ideas on what parents of children who attend poorly funded urban or rural schools should do to solve the problem.

“I’ve always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly under-polluted.” – Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic wastes to Third World countries.

“If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate.” – Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, D.C.

“After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.” – Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island

Dan Quayle said on a vist to Latin America..”it is such a great pleasure to be here, my only regret is that I cant speak to you in your native language Latin”

More from Dan Quayle: ‎”It’s a very good historical book about history”… ‎”the future will be better tomorrow”.. l ‎”this president is going to lead us out of this recovery”… ‎”we dont want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward”…And perhaps my favourite “What a waste it is to lose one’s mind; or not to have a mind, that is wasteful”.

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