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PERFECTIONISM AND MINISTRY

Alan E. Craddock, Driven to Despair: Perfectionism and Ministry, Mosaic Press, 2013.

Perfectionism isn’t funny. When I put the words perfection humor into Google I had a hard time finding anything humorous. Instead: “Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order” (Anne Wilson Schaef). “The grandest seduction of all is the myth that DOING EVERYTHING BETTER gets us where we want to be. It gets us somewhere, certainly, but not anywhere worth being” (Shauna Niequist). “Perfectionism is not a prerequisite for anything but pain” (Danna Faulds)…

Every second day, in my vocation as a counselor/friend-of-pastors, I hear something like this: ‘Why is it so hard? Why am I the recipient of so much garbage from people who claim to be followers of Christ? Is the problem their expectations of me, or the expectations I put on myself?’

It’s that last question psychologist Alan Craddock addresses in this little (126-page) book.

So now, in addition to the excellent material on ‘Ministry Burnout’ published by psychologists like Dr. Arch Hart (Fuller Seminary) and the Alban Institute people, and many others, we have a unique contribution by an Australian academic who is also a committed Christian (‘Protestant Evangelical’), a counselor-of-clergy, and a seminary teacher (the Sydney Anglican Moore Theological College).

First, the source: where does dysfunctional perfectionism come from? Most likely, in a family where ‘children experience high levels of family enmeshment, high levels of parental authoritarianism and high levels of parental psychological control…’ It’s likely to be there that we learn that ‘personal success is a major and necessary source of approval from others’ (p. 26).

Although dysfunctional perfectionism is maladaptive ‘in isolation, it does not take the form of a classifiable clinical mental disorder’, though it can lead to emotional disorders such as depression, stress or anxiety (p. 31).

When we turn to the Bible (as an Evangelical, Craddock does that a lot), we note references to the ‘perfection’ of God, and our calling as Christ-followers to be ‘perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect’ and even, as the Apostle Paul writes, being ‘made perfect in weakness’ (2 Corinthians 12: 8-10). How does a Christian get to be like that?

According to ‘Pelagians, Roman Catholics or Semipelagians, Arminians, Wesleyans… the Quakers… the early Keswick movement’ et.al. we are given the grace to work hard to be ‘free from sin’. We are ‘justified by faith’ – that’s what God does for us – but we are then given the Spiritual resources to be ‘sanctified by faith’: helped along by a ‘second blessing’ (as some Pentecostals teach). Craddock reckons ‘being made holy [can become] unduly… conditional on our own efforts’ and so prefers Calvin: ‘Christ justifies no man without also sanctifying him’ (pp. 51, 48).

When we take a step from all this to the modern church’s ‘well-intentioned application’ of business models and strategies for church health/growth we tend to become what well-known scholar-pastor Eugene Peterson laments as ‘religious entrepreneurs with business plans.’ (Interesting that this very gifted man was pastor of the same church –  Christ our King Presbyterian Church in Bel Air, Maryland – for 29 years, and had roughly the same number of people – a few hundred – at the end of his ministry as at the beginning. An author of over 30 books can’t be ‘successful’ – note the ‘quotes’ –  at everything!).

Which raises the question: ‘What is a successful pastor?’ Someone who attracts thousands of parishioners? Or a noted author/seminar-leader/ preacher/whatever? Or, someone who simply does faithfully what they’re called by God to do and can leave the results to God? It’s hard when we clergy are bombarded with conflicting notions of excellence…

If a pastor is overwhelmed by frustration and is falling short of some perfectionistic/idealistic goal or standard, what’s the remedy? Well, you’d expect a practising psychologist to say something like this: ‘The starting point for change involves making a review of the perception  of the activating events that have triggered the whole subsequent chain reaction of unhelpful beliefs, feelings and behaviours’. The process of change [then] consists of exploring the extent to which activated beliefs are valid and what changes might be appropriate.’  ‘The third part of  the process of change calls for understanding the source and impact of our activated unhelpful emotions  and replacing or countering these with more helpful emotions’ (pp. 67-8, italics his).

Because we are human beings, but also Christian human beings, psychology must be married to biblical theological insights: ‘strengthening the insight process by extending it to include insight into the nature of God – God’s holiness, God’s grace, and what it is like to live under God’s grace and to have the goal of being made godly’ (p. 106).

We may experience these concomitants of dysfunctional perfectionism:

  1. Procrastination, which ‘stems, in part, from the anticipation of social disapproval from individuals with high standards for others’
  2. Burnout, which is often related to a chronic need for approval
  3. Bullying – either as victim or as perpetrator (pp. 111-112).

Some wise advice: ‘Do not neglect the support that may be available from valued and respected colleagues and supervisors, and for those whose struggle continues to be intense the role of professional assistance should not be ignored. A final word: Don’t try to be a perfectionist about changing your perfectionism’ (p. 126).

A timely and helpful book.

Rowland Croucher

jmm.org.au

26th September 2013

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PS.

“This life, therefore, is not godliness but the process of becoming godly, not health but getting well, not being but becoming, not rest but exercise. We are not now what we shall be but we are on the way. The process is not yet finished but it is actively going on. This is not the goal, but it is the right road. At present, everything does not gleam and sparkle, but everything is being cleansed” (Martin Luther).

 

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