The results of a computerized survey indicate the perfect minister
preaches exactly fifteen minutes. He condemns sins but never upsets
anyone. He works from 8:00 AM until midnight and is also a janitor. He
makes $50 a week, wears good clothes, buys good books, drives a good
car, and gives about $50 weekly to the poor. He is 28 years old and has
preached 30 years. He has a burning desire to work with teenagers and
spends all of his time with senior citizens. The perfect minister smiles
all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that
keeps him seriously dedicated to his work. He makes 15 calls daily on
congregation families, shut-ins and the hospitalized, and is always in
his office when needed.

If your minister does not measure up, simply send this letter to six
other
churches that are tired of their minister, too. Then bundle up your
minister and send him to the church on the top of the list. In one
week, you will receive 1,643 ministers and one of them will be perfect.
Have faith in this procedure.

One chuch broke the chain and got its old minister back in less than
three weeks….so don’t break the chain.