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Rowland Croucher

Rowland Croucher has written 26185 posts for John Mark Ministries
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Fancy Dress Party

On July 28, 2008 ⋅ Post a comment

How NOT to do it… A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a fancy dress party. He doesn’t know what to wear to hide his bald head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. A few days later he receives […]

By Way of the Desert

On July 23, 2008 ⋅ Post a comment

By Way of the Desert: 365 Daily Readings, ed. Bernard Bangley (Continuum, 2007) The Desert Fathers and Mothers were (Christian) people who from early church times sought solitude in desert-places. Their aim: to get away from the temptations and distractions of ‘the world’ to seek the truth about God, themselves, and the human condition. They […]

Buying a Computer (Updated)

On July 23, 2008 ⋅ Post a comment

LOU COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM BUD ABBOTT ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.. ABBOTT: Your computer? COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to […]

Motorway

On July 23, 2008 ⋅ Post a comment

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway. Nothing is moving. Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, “What’s going on? Terrorists down the road have kidnapped Gordon Brown and some other politicans. They’re asking for a  £10 million ransom, otherwise they’re going to […]

How Important Is Church Membership?

On July 23, 2008 ⋅ Post a comment

by John Piper 1 Corinthians 12:12-31 12 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body-Jews or Greeks, slaves or free-and all were made […]

Good News for the 21st Century

On July 23, 2008 ⋅ Post a comment

by Nils von Kalm The very beginning of the oldest gospel that we have, the Gospel of Mark, has Jesus proclaiming, in chapter 1:15: “The time has come. The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!” But what is this good news? When someone says to you, “I have good […]

Kids are quick

On July 23, 2008 ⋅ Post a comment

Kids Are Quick____________________________________ TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS: Maria. ____________________________________ TEACHER: John , why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. __________________________________________ TEACHER: Glenn , […]

Retirement

On July 23, 2008 ⋅ Post a comment

From a Usenet humour group: I’ve often been asked, ‘What do you “old guys” do now that you’re retired?’ Well, I have a friend who has a Chemical Engineering background and one of the things we enjoy most is turning beer, scotch and wine into urine.

And then the fight started…

On July 23, 2008 ⋅ Post a comment

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’ ‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after […]

Miracle

On July 22, 2008 ⋅ Post a comment

If any cleric or monk speaks jocular words, such as to provoke laughter, let him be anathema. [Ordinance, Second Council of Constance [1418] +++++ One morning a man comes into the church on crutches. He stops in front of the holy water and splashes some on both of his legs, then throws away the crutches. […]

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