Humor
These are REAL 911 Calls!
BELIEVE it or not, These are REAL 911 Calls! Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner. Dispatcher: Do you have an address? Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why? Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller: Someone broke […]
Anonymity
I am reminded of a story John Stott tells about Joseph Parker. One day when Parker was climbing the steps to his pulpit, a lady in the gallery threw a piece of paper at him. He picked it up and read it. It contained only one word – “Fool!”. Parker began his sermon saying: “I […]
Ordering Chicken
CHICKEN AT A CHINESE RESTAURANT A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the “Chicken Surprise”. The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little […]
Aussies
The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV. How do the plants […]
Children On Grandparents
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/singingman7777/COG.htm
All Things Dull and Ugly
From Monty Python All things dull and ugly, All creatures short and squat, All things rude and nasty, The Lord God made the lot. Each little snake that poisons, Each little wasp that stings, He made their brutish venom. He made their horrid wings. All things sick and cancerous, All evil great and small, All […]
Jesus was fun to be around
The idea of Jesus as a comedian might seem a little unusual, even heretical or disrespectful. But the more I read the Gospels, the more firmly I conclude that Jesus was probably the most effective user of humor and comedy than any communicator who’s ever walked the planet. I also believe that Jesus was one […]
Little Boy in the Country
Once there was a little boy that lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer and cold in the winter and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that […]
Neighbour
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to […]
The Computer Swallowed Grandma
The computer swallowed grandma, Yes, honestly it’s true, She pressed ‘control’ and ‘enter’ And disappeared from view. It devoured her completely, The thought just makes me squirm. She must have caught a virus Or been eaten by a worm. I’ve searched through the recycle bin, And files of every kind, I’ve even used the Internet, […]
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