(Tangential to this thread… hey, no it isn’t. This is what happens when literalism is taken to absurd extremes 🙂

This story brings to my memory of a Mormon student who bailed me up after a talk I gave in the 1970s in a Brisbane Teachers’ College.

She: ‘Didn’t you know God was male, and we’ve measured his size?’

I: ‘Interesting. How’d they do that?’

She: ‘Well the Bible says God walks on the mountains. So we asked “What mountains?” Answer: the mountains of Judea. So with the help of some trigonometry we figured out how big God would have to be to walk across the parallel ranges of the Judean mountains.’

I: ‘Interesting. So God is male, and so big. When you draw God do you put wings on him?’

She: ‘No, of course not. I said God is a giant male.’

I: ‘But your Bible says he hides us under his wings!’

She experienced a severe attack of cognitive dissonance; her face fell; she went white. I have hopes she might have been cured of her literalistic nonsense at that point.

Netfriend’s response:

I must commit the verse about God hiding us under his wings – or is it under the shadow of his wings? – to my long-term memory for use in situations like this.

Shalom!

Rowland Croucher