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Healing Hearts – Repairing Homes – Embracing Femininity

In this issue: Relating to Your Husband and “The Fix”

How you related (or didn’t relate) to your dad has set you up to how you relate (or don’t/won’t relate) to your husband. The patterns of relating to your dad will help reveal the present patterns of how you relate to your husband. If you related to your dad in an unhealthy way (and haven’t resolved the past and don’t understand the Bible way), you’ll most likely have some issues to work through so you can relate to your husband biblically. Any “unbiblical messages” from dad will be the “grid” in how you operate in your marriage. If those “unbiblical messages” aren’t recognized chances are you’ll tear down your house by emasculating your husband by controlling him, mothering him and stepping into his arenas of God-given responsibility.

When girls don’t get the God-intended building blocks (especially) from Dad they grow up feeling insecure, unprotected, not accepted, not valuable (and more). This girl will become a woman who potentially struggles with body image, self-nurturing tendencies, controlling tendencies, imbalanced dependency on men or imbalanced independency from men. She will most likely look for love in all the wrong places and give herself sexually before marriage.

This woman will probably be good at manipulation and control because the inner turmoil of hurt and resentment will leave her too vulnerable if she doesn’t self-protect through controlling her outside world.

This woman will tend to compete with rather complement her husband and thus tear her house down with her own hands (Proverbs 14:1).

She’ll tend to marry a man who is passive or passive-aggressive (an angry man), who doesn’t know who he is in Christ, who doesn’t know his God-given biblical manhood job description. She’ll end up in a frustrated and angry marriage often where the relational dynamics are like father/child. She might end up being with a dominate abuser because she isn’t aware of her own value and worth as a woman—as he doesn’t see her self as a gift.

These are some fruits of un-dealt with father-wounds. God grieves but the woman doesn’t, until someone tells her she needs to take a look at the inner turmoil that aches in her soul because some of dad’s building blocks seem to have been left out.

The Fix? It’s a long, slow one and it’s through relationships. We get damaged in relationships and we get healed in healing relationships. The first steps are learning what it means to be accepted and loved by God as you are, then being taught right doctrine and getting a right view of God and of self and how to do relationships (boundaries, respect, acceptance, believing the best, releasing, etc). Paralleling that is prayer and safe places to undo the blocks around the heart, and in a sense allowing God to give back to us the blocks we didn’t get by being in relationship with safe people, and by allowing ourselves to become vulnerable with one or more trusted people. In time we take back that authority we’ve give to others to define us and we learn to love and accept ourselves the way Abba Father does.

Praying Wives & Women Prayer is the vehicle to move God’s heart. It’s the vehicle which gives me the most power of influence. Wives & women who pray are Kingdom Changers. As a leader of women and a pastor’s wife, let me encourage y ou to take up the charge in a fresh wayand be faithful to pray. If you or women in your sphere of influence are needing some fresh ways to pray, Power Prayers for Your Mighty Man is available through our Mentoring ~ Woman to Woman Ministry for $5 plus s/h (US only). http://womenintouch.net/page7.html>Click

here: training tools & products You can order the booklet by simply responding back with your request and by sending us your mailing address. http://womantowoman.us/page20.html> Mentoring ~ Woman to Woman Order Form

May His Rich Blessings Be On You ~ Lylah Ledner, Director of Mentoring ~ Woman to Woman, Scottsdale, AZ http://womantowoman.us/