We will be talking about awareness, meditation, contemplation, interior silence – wordless heart to heart prayer – prayer that is deeper than words can express.
Prayer is the deepening of an interpersonal relationship. It is an intimate time between you and God. Not a time to pray for people, wants. Put aside all thoughts of people, things, self – focus on God as God. Pray for people and personal needs while walking, driving, working, waiting.
Most of what we call prayer is preparation for prayer; what we do is all preparation. Be still – relaxed – comfortable – keep spine straight.
True prayer is not active; prayer is received; our part is to silence, ‘collect’ ourself and open our deepest self – make ready – hand over for action by God. This is accomplished through awareness – in the present moment.
This is WORK. Preconceptions, expectations, false autonomy, distractions, and the real struggle to accept love – all get in our way. Our false self fights for its life against our attempts at prayer.
Authenticity – the absolutely hardest thing to come by, even in prayer.
Start out using the ‘method’ much in vogue in earlier times, called Lectio Divina. It is the simplest method and is for everyone – not just “mystics”. It has four movements or stages:
1. Meditative reading – reading and listening (short passage)
2. Meditation – reflecting on what you’ve read 3. Oratio – the reading reaches the heart 4. Transition to contemplation – your heart catches fire
It is not a method that follows steps – cannot be measured – we can’t know how we’re doing – a period of prayer can’t be judged as worthless or worthwhile – it is never wasted even though dry and seemingly unfruitful. Go with the flow – usual time to spend is a minimum of 20 minutes – after quieting self.
Wasting time in prayer – this has two meanings; the first requires a decision; the second creeps into our prayer and must be stopped, repeatedly.
1. Wasting time working at prayer – taking time from other things. 2. Wasting prayer time thinking about others, self, or our stuff.
Awareness is not thought or visualization – it is experience, realization, wordless consciousness of without ‘naming’ or thinking about. Become aware of room, body parts, temperature, sounds, breathing. Don’t, though, concentrate on breathing – gets you into all kinds of trouble and has nothing to do with opening your deepest self to God. Become aware of God’s presence – in tabernacle (even though it may be miles away) – in self – enjoy!
Although your efforts are to be toward quiet receptivity, you may find an occasional, spontaneous expression flowing from your reading or from the core of your being – can be a silent word, phrase, groan, wordless offering of self – whatever – from deep within. One form of “tongues” refers to these acts during prayer.
Present moment, present moment, present moment – stay in it. Keep coming back. Thoughts wandering? Back again to awareness in the present moment.
Finish prayer time by reciting something memorized or from BCP, or spontaneous words, or request for help, etc. (Lord, I believe – help, Thou my unbelief.)
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NOTES ON PRAYER – II
Preliminaries
Every time we begin a prayer session we must affirm our determination to do this and not do or think about something else – and to do it in all the honesty we can muster.
Begin with a ceremonial – some tranquil but intense preliminaries to make a clean break with what we have just been doing – even liturgical prayer. Without such a break we risk merely daydreaming or being so bored that we give up regular prayer. Many fall into this boredom and give up, simply because no one ever told them to beware. If the ceremonial strikes you as annoying, ask yourself, “Do I or don’t I want to pray?” It is necessary.
To begin – it can help to repeat to ourself, “I freely give this time to The Lord.”
The preliminaries consist in such things as bodily attitudes and slow vocal prayers, repeated if need be – and intensely lived. It’s a good idea to stand or kneel in a formal attitude, perhaps with hands or arms held in an act of self-offering and expectation. Then a slow, solemn bow or genuflection, made so that it really represents your soul consciously bending in adoration. And finally, a very slow sign of the cross – reaching from head to waist and shoulder to shoulder. (This is also a good way to train yourself away from small, quick, botched signs of the cross.) Then sit or kneel in a position that you can comfortably maintain. Usually, a three or four point ‘landing’ is best – to keep you from falling over no matter . . . .
The ceremonial gestures, done seriously and peacefully, dispel our nervousness and create within us a ‘climate’ for prayer – a climate that is at the same time tranquil and alert – and prepares the soul for silence – silence that is not a vacuum, but a womb expecting to be filled with Life.
God is always there, but His Presence need not be something we feel
The idea of awareness can be a trap. Don’t let it be. We’re operating in the realm of faith – beyond what is felt, seen, and thought. It matters not that we don’t feel God loving us – as long as we KNOW He does. When we don’t feel we love God – so what? What is important is that we want to love Him – and that we work at staying with Him during prayer time. The mind can be the largest obstacle to prayer, and we have to learn to control it. Planning a vacation is not prayer; neither is ruminating over problematic conversations and events. Effort is needed to reject falling into this kind of ‘waste’ of prayer time: sometimes more effort – sometimes less. No two prayer periods are alike, and we have to enter each session without expectations.
Also, resist a rush into a reading, or a point for meditation. We are eager to reflect, to meditate – but we are meditating far from God – we are in a rendevous with our self, or with the ideas of a spiritual writer, or even with the ideas of the Gospel (which are not bad places to be); but that is not a rendevous of love directly with God. It is common to think about God and yet remain separated from Him. Also, the work of reflection is not capable of effecting the profound transformation in our innermost being that prayer, and only prayer, does. Prayer consists in holding our innermost being before God. No matter what we do during our time set aside to be with God, everything is a means except one act, which is the goal of our prayer: the act of remaining determinedly in God’s presence ‘knowing’ (not feeling; not thinking) that He is with/in us and we are with/in Him so that we let Him transform us. Determinedly is the operative word. It’s simple, not easy.
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NOTES ON PRAYER – III
Our Innermost Being
Can be said to be the storehouse of our personal and archetypal history, the source of our potential, and the designer of every present moment.
At the risk of gross over-simplification of his ideas: Author, John A. Sanford, an Episcopal Priest and Jungian Analyst, speaks of our psychic Center and the vital importance for us that a constant flow of energy be maintained between the conscious (ego) and the unconscious so that the Self (meaning the total personality) can grow and develop into a whole – that is, to become an undivided person whose conscious personality is at one with the unconscious – which seems to be God’s intention for man.
When we recognize that the larger part of our personality is that part of which we are unaware (unconscious), and accept that the natural tendency of our ego (conscious) is toward psychological blindness and shortsightedness, and pile on the massive egocentricity that theologians call original sin – we see clearly that we need all the Help we can get in growing toward wholeness. Contemplative prayer is our venue for Help.
Our efforts at opening our innermost being to God’s action in prayer can cause the movement of psychic energy so that we tend toward unification and wholeness. We may notice some symptoms of this in how differently we live our daily life over time as we continue to pray. We are apt to relate to ourself and others at a less superficial level, maybe alter our idea of what is important, perhaps become bored by theses that omit the spiritual factor, and notice we are gravitating toward different people for friendship. We might even notice that we become a little more compassionate and a bit less judgmental!
Our prayer time, itself, also may have fewer intrusions from routine concerns (called distractions). They may be replaced by random thoughts wafting through – welling up from long forgotten memories (pains, joys, fears) or dreams – that present themselves to our conscious awareness for action by God. It is possible that our connection to God when this occurs can be so deep that these thoughts do not interfere; they simply become a part of our prayer. If this occurs, our job remains the same: to determinedly remain aware, in the present moment, “in God’s presence” and let Him work (heal) as He will.
We may notice, too, as we go about living outside our set-aside prayer time, results from an experience in prayer. Not to worry. Not to look for experiences. Not to look for results. Concentrate on looking for God. Our prayer and our life really are God’s business; and such things, if handled right, will lead us to more abandonment to God and to less demand for control or autonomy. We may be surprised by a new willingness to be led, by God.
One sure result of prayer – as we are using the term, as opposed to prayers – is more sensitive intuition. We may notice this in almost any realm, from the most mundane workaday world, to a spiritual assurance that goes beyond any level of belief – to unshakable knowing. Again, we shouldn’t seek; just note; and be grateful. And be faithful to our prayer time. A close relationship with God is worth it. God is worth it.
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Discussion
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