Columnist Erma Bombeck once said, “It seems rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.” Perhaps that is because many of us suffer from what communicator Nido Qubein terms “agenda anxiety” — the feeling that what we want to say to others is more important than what they might want to say to us. Sometimes we try to impress rather than express, not realizing that two monologues do not make a dialogue.

Relationships work when communication works. And communication works when we listen as well as speak; when we relate from the heart as well as the head.

In their book Managing From The Heart (Delacorte Press, 1990), the authors discuss what it means to communicate from the heart. Here are five principles of “H-E-A-R-T” communication:

H – Hear and understand me.

E – Even if you disagree, please don’t make me wrong.

A – Acknowledge the greatness within me.

R – Remember to look for my loving intentions.

T – Tell me the truth with compassion.

The quality of your life will be largely determined by the quality of your relationships. And it is only with your heart that you will communicate in ways that matter.