A man appears before St. Peter at the pearly gates.

“Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asks.

“Well, I can think of one thing,” the man offers. “Once, on a trip to the Black Hills, out in New South Wales, I came upon a gang of macho bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen. So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker. I smacked him on the head, kicked over his bike, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground and told him, ‘Leave her alone, now, or you’ll answer to me.'” St. Peter was impressed. “When did this happen?”

“Just a couple of minutes ago.”