There once was a woman with a duck. She really loved that duck. She took that duck with her everywhere. One day, the duck just keeled over. Not believing the duck could *possibly* be *dead*, she took it to her veterinarian.

The vet looked the bird over, listened with his stethoscope and announced, “Ma’am, I am so sorry, but your duck is dead.”

Aghast, she said, “Dead?! I don’t believe you! You’ve got to DO something!”

“OK, Ma’am,” the doctor said, and left the room.

Moments later he returned with a gorgeous black labrador retriever. The dog put its paws up on the examination table, sniffed the bird over from head to toe, looked at the doctor and shook his head.

The dog left the room with the doctor.

The veterinarian returned a few moments later with a gorgeous Persian cat. He placed the cat on the examination table. The cat sniffed the length of the duck, looked up at the doctor and shook her head.

The cat left the room and the veterinarian stood looking sadly at his client.

The woman said, “Well, doc?”

“The duck is dead, I am so sorry.” He replied.

The woman sighed, saying, “Well, what do I owe you?”

The veterinarian pulled out a pad of paper and pen and started writing figures down.

When he was through, he announced, “$175.00”

The woman was shocked and outraged, “What?! $175.00 to tell me the duck is dead?!”

To which the veterinarian answered:

“That’s $50.00 for the office visit.”

“What’s the rest for?!” the woman asked, incredulous

“$50.00 for the lab fee and another $75.00 for the Cat scan. . .”

*GROAN*