Anonymity is highly prized among those who (literally) experience life’s ups and downs together. But here are few steps to break down the impersonal nature of any journey.

Open your handbag or briefcase a centimetre or two, look in, and ask: “Got enough air in there?”

Smile at another passenger and announce cheerfully: “I’ve got new socks on!”

Bet the other passengers you can fit a ten cent piece up your nose.

As you get in, look seriously at everyone and say: “you’ve probably been wondering why I’ve called this meeting!”

But for the best reaction, have your mobile phone to your ear and an angry look on your face as the doors open. As you join the other passengers, shout into the phone: “What do you mean I should plead criminally insane?”