from http://www.theoniondome.com/2004/05/14/vv/

Dear Father Vasiliy,

What do you say to a bishop when he sneezes? Laymen, or even priests, of course should not presume to bless a bishop, so “God bless you” is clearly out of the question. But it seems rude to just ignore it.

– Out of Kleenex

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Dear Kliyneks,

What do I say when bishop sneeze? Or what should you say when bishop sneeze? Actually is same answer. You are right, is completely unacceptable to say “God bless you” to bishop. Clearly your priest has taught you something.

But what to say?

This question was debated long and hard in Nineteenth Century Russia, you may be sure. Unfortunately nobody alive then thought to write down answer. So we are stuck without what is clearly potentially most useful reference.

At this point you may think I am stalling because I am not knowing answer. You would be correct. Last time I almost blessed bishop when he sneeze, he point at me with index finger and say, “Don’t go there, Vasiliy.” Needless to be saying, I did not go there.

But this remind me of story about Queen Victoria of England, who was grandmother to last Tsarina of Russia. Apparently she was showing famous visitor through royal stables, when horse make certain impolite passing of wind. Queen Victoria was very embarassed, and say, “Excuse me!”

Foreign visitor say, “Is all right, majesty. I was thinking it was horse.”

Therefore I am suggesting when bishop sneezes, you say, “Excuse me.” If bishop is smart, he will be happy for you having thought of courtesy. If bishop is not so smart, he will think maybe you sneezed instead of him, and you will get free blessing! Everybody is to win.

Signed, Father Vasiliy