Praying for characters in soap opera

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Praying that the ”…people in hell not to have to suffer so bad…” (!) ….

“Lord please anoint our Christmas cards.”

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The success of a TV ministry. I mean, do we REALLY want to see divine intervention in making them successful? Maybe in sending a good plague of locusts or for a good myocardial infarction, but not success….

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”Humility.” Does anyone ever really think about this before they just unthinkingly blurt it out? Granted, it’s a noble attribute and even though it is sort of a popular piece of ”Christianese” prayer filler, it strikes me as kind of a masochistic request. “Yes Lord, please waylay my pride and humiliate me… because while I recognize that I need to be humble, apparently I’m incapable of attaining it without a divinely instigated and publicly demonstrable glut of my own inadequacy. Could You, maybe make me pee my pants in front of the whole church, or perhaps I could just start uncontrollably drooling on myself whenever I try to talk. Oh gee, and could you please make it the case that everyone points and laughs.”

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My 6 year old son prayed this prayer. ”Dear Jesus, please help daddy to stop farting.”

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At A/g church in Santa Cruz my friend went up to the new yoputh pastor for prayer for lust. i all ready new this was going to be good since this guy beleived that the sin fo fornication was committed by listening to Rock music and the Devil was fornicating the flock with Chrstian rock like STRYPER and AMY GRANT, anyway I can not here what my friend whispered in his ear for prayer but we sure new what he got prayed for when the youth pastor grappled his head like a basketball in a drive or shot choice in the game. Yelling (praying) spirit of masturbation come out of him!!!! over and over again and over with very few variations except with grunts and the word NOW!! and let go!! Shaking that boy silly and finally the Spirit took over and cast him to the ground. My friend said he really wanted to die would have been better but faking slain in the spirit was all he could do at the moment. My friend not to long later became Catholic I was happy for him!

from http://www.holyobserver.com/detail.php?isu=v02i03&art=prayers