A Usenet friend wrote (very wisely):

Very telling to read what overflows from the heart in relative anonymity. We are more most who we are when we have the luxury of being in cognito. But, I think it can go both ways.

My father put his finger on this a couple of years ago when he said that he thought two things happen on usenet that make folks rise or sink to the occassion:

1) The relative anonymity allows folks to be who they truly are. Their friends, neighbors, family members, fellow church members, and others to whom they display the facade, are absent from this community. In a sense it’s ‘anything goes’ because it’s forgotten that the One, True God is present and already knows what we’re gong to write before we write it because he sees what the aforementioned people don’t see – our hearts. And out of the overflow of the heart…

2) The nics, handles, etc. aren’t viewed as men and women created in the image of God. In some respects, we do not connect the names on the screens with living, breathing people. They are people who love and are loved, have bills that are due and others who depend on them. They are hurting because life is hard. They have just lost someone they loved, or someone they love is almost gone. It’s forgotten that we have the power to make their day, or shatter it. These people become objects that we abuse for our sick pleasure, if that is what is in our hearts.

I haven’t been here for awhile. I’ve pretty much stayed away for reasons that may be obvious to some and less obvious to me. Perhaps I don’t like the person that I become when I’m here (see above), or maybe because I struggle with being positive in a negative environment. Maybe it’s just simply that this place really makes me sad, and I’ve been sad enough. I dunno, do I stick my head in the sand and pretend that people aren’t really this way? That sometimes we just seethe with hatred? Out of the overflow of the heart…

I toured Dachau a few years ago and struck a conversation with one of the guides. He asked me if I understood how this place happened. Not catching the depth of his question, I offered an answer that was purely in an historical context. I felt a little foolish when he shook his head and said, “People stopped seeing people, and then stopped being people”. I hope nobody misunderstands and thinks that I’m drawing a comparison between usenet and Dachau or Nazi Germany or even Hitler himself. No, that’s been done ad infinitum and ad nauseum here, and those comparisons are cheap and easy. I’m going much, much deeper than that and asking questions of the heart – that deep, dark, cavernous place that’s filled with all sorts of wickedness.

I truly hope that everyone is well. I just did a cursory scan of the headers and see that things haven’t changed much. I’m not making judgments, I’m just realizing that my name would be attached to some of the headers were I still an active contributor. I wonder: To which headers would my name be attached? Would my contributions reflect someone who believes that a sovereign God is looking over my shoulder and into my heart? Or would my words reveal the overflow of a wicked heart?

Please pray for me as I pray for you.