Computer humour (If there is such a thing)

HELPDESK LOG…

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?

Female customer: A white one…

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Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.

Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.

Helpdesk: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note …”

Customer: No … wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s

still on

my desk… sorry ….

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Helpdesk: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?

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Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?

Male customer: Hello… I can’t print.

Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and …

Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill

Gates damn it!

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Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try it

says

‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in

front

of

the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it…

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Customer: I have problems printing in red…

Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?

Customer: Aaaah………………..thank you.

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Helpdesk: What’s on your monitor now ma’am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

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Helpdesk: And now hit F8.

Customer: It’s not working.

Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?

Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing’s

happening…

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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Helpdesk: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.

Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: OK

Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes

Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another

keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah…that one does work!

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Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital

letter

V as in Victor, the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

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A customer couldn’t get on the internet.

Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five stars.

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Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.

Helpdesk: That’s not an antivirus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry…Internet Explorer.

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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on

my

computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!

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Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?

Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you

please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?

Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don’t understand your problem?

Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than

4

hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?

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Helpdesk: How may I help you?

Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.

Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around

it?

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