TODAYS RIDDLE

What number completes the following sequence? 4 9 19 ?? 79 159

/\ x x x x x Scroll down for the answer x x x x x Here it comes x x x x x \/

39. Each number is twice the previous number plus one.

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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement. —– Mark Twain

Santa Claus has the right idea: Visit people only once a year. —– Victor Borge

What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money. —– Henny Youngman

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth. —– George Burns

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. —– Will Rogers

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere. —– Billy Crystal

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GOTCHA!

A golf pro dragged himself into the clubhouse looking as though he’d just escaped a tornado.

“What’s wrong?” a woman asked.

“I just lost a game to Houlihan,” the pro said.

“What? But Houlihan’s the worst player I’ve ever seen. How could he have beaten you?”

“He tricked me,” the pro said. “On the first tee, he asked for a handicap. I told him he could have 30, 40, 50 strokes – any handicap he wanted. He said, ‘Just give me two gotchas.'”

“What’s a gotcha?” asked the woman.

“That’s what I wanted to know,” the pro said. “Houlihan said, ‘You’ll see.’ Then, as I was teeing off, just as I had my club poised, he screamed out ‘Gotcha!'”

“I can guess what happened,” the woman said.

“Sure,” the pro said. “The scream threw me off, and I missed the ball completely.”

“Understandable,” the woman said. “But still, that’s only one swing. How did he win the game?”

The pro answered, “You try swinging at a golf ball all day while waiting for that second ‘gotcha!'”

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Oneliners:

I’m leaving my body to science fiction.

Housework is something you do that nobody notices until you don’t do it.

Daddy: a banker provided by nature

Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls . . . Intelligence is not trying.

I should probably give up chocolate … but hey, I’m no quitter!

I don’t trust people who smile a lot.

Quite often we change jobs, friends and spouses, instead of ourselves.

Musical chairs: because kids don’t already have a hard enough time feeling left out.

Teenagers express their desires to be different by dressing exactly alike.

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

Greeting cards are for people who mean every word that someone else said.

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JUST ASK

A father and son went fishing one day. Sitting in the boat for a couple of hours gave them not much to do, so the son started thinking about the world around him. He began to get curious so he asked his father some questions.

“How does this boat float?”

The father thought for a moment, then replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.”

The boy returned to his contemplation, but soon came up with another one, “How do fish breath underwater?”

Once again the father replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.”

A little later the boy asked his father, “Why is the sky blue?”

Again, the father replied. “Don’t rightly know, son.”

Worried he was going to annoy his father, he said, “Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?”

His father immediately assured him, “Of course not, son. If you don’t ask questions, you’ll never learn anything!”

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