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I have not yet begun to procrastinate !

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TODAYS RIDDLE:

You do not want to have it,

But when you do have it,

You do not want to lose it?

What is it?

/\ x x x x x Scroll down for the answer x x x x x Here it comes x x x x x \/

A lawsuit.

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A young couple got married and went away on their honeymoon. After 2 weeks they came back and finally put away all of the presents they received from friends and family. Since this was a new home, the process took some time. The silver went into the closet, items were put on the walls for display and some of the most intimate apparels were put in the bedroom drawers.

A week later, they received a mail carrying two tickets for a popular show where tickets were impossible to get. They were very excited and warmed by the gesture of the person who sent this. Inside the envelope, however, was only a piece of paper with a single line, “Guess who sent them.”

The pair had much fun trying to identify the donor, but failed in the effort. They went to the theatre, and had a wonderful time. On their return home late at night, still trying to guess the identity of the unknown host, they found the house stripped of every article of value. And on the bare table in the dining-room was a piece of paper on which was written in the same hand as the enclosure with the tickets, “Now you know!”.

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When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.

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SHOPPING SPREE It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. “What are you charged with?” he asked.

“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.

“That’s no offense,” replied the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”

“Before the store opened,” countered the prisoner.=============================

COMPETITION!… A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read ‘BEST DEALS.’

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading ‘LOWEST PRICES.’

The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read…

‘MAIN ENTRANCE’=============================

Not many people know that Edison was a avid fisherman. He usually included some trout fishing in his infrequent vacations. –

During one such trip to the west he was befriended by an Indian tribe. They provided free room and board, as well as expert fishing guides for his stay.

On his first night he discovered that the only sanitary facility was an old-fashioned outhouse. To make things worse it had no light even though the village had electricity in the homes.

As a thank-you gift for their kindnesses, Edison purchased the necessary materials and personally installed lighting in the Indians privvy. He thus became the first person to wire a head for a reservation.

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Why is Christmas like a day at the office?

You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

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