At a golf course, four men approached the sixteenth tee. The straight fairway ran along a road and bike path fenced off on the left.
The first golfer teed off and hooked the ball in that direction. The ball went over the fence and bounced off the bike path onto the road, where it hit the tire of a moving bus and was knocked back on to the fairway.
As they all stood in amazement, one man asked him, “How on earth did you do that?”
He shrugged his shoulders and said, “You have to know the bus schedule.”
=============================
I ran into Jim at work yesterday. He had been out for a few days with the flu. I asked him how he was feeling.
“I’m better, thanks. You know, it was a wonderful experience.”
“Wonderful? How can the flu be wonderful?” I asked in stunned disbelief.
“Well, I learned that my wife really loves me. You know that whenever the mailman came by or a delivery man headed toward the door, my wife ran out to meet them? I could hear her excitedly saying ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!”
=============================
A sister from a local convent became a Certified Public Accountant to help small shop owners manage their finances better. Her title: ‘Nun of Your Business.’ ____________________
Here’s a winter travel tip if you are traveling during the holidays: Book your flight later in the day . . . that way, you give the airport security people a chance to warm up their hands on other people.” ….. Jay Leno _______________
“Jury selection for the Robert Blake case has begun.
Under law, Blake is to be judged by a jury of his peers, which would be 12 unemployed homicidal actors.” ….. David Letterman
=============================
The Joys Of Having Kids
/ ,,, \ .===. ( /6.6\ ) ////\\\ .===. )( _ )( ((/6.6\)) /_____\__ .===. ( ,’—‘, ) )( _ )( `\/6.6\/–` ////\\\ / (\-/) \ ((()—())) ( _ ) \/6.6\/ /\ /o o\ /\ ,’—‘, ( _ )
| _\ Y /_ | /\/ \/\ / _ \ ,’—‘, \(_ `~` _)/ \ | | / /_/ (_) \_\ / \ / / \ \ \| |/ \ | (_) | / /_/ \_\ / ()/^\() \ |_____| \|_____|/ \| |/ /. . . . . .\ |__|__| | | | (|_____|)
`”`”|`|`|”`”` | | | | | | |__|__| |_|_| |_|_| \__|__/ |_|_| _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ (___|___) (___|___) (___|___) (___|___)
Trying to dress an active little one is like trying to thread a sewing machine while it’s running.
There are only two things a child will share willingly communicable diseases and their mother’s age.
Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.
Kids really brighten a household; they never turn off any lights.
An alarm clock is a device for waking people up who don’t have small kids.
mom, you up there? / Shouting to make your ,==. |~~~ kids obey is like using / 66\ | the horn to steer your \c -_) |~~~ car, and you get about `) ( | the same results! / \ |~~~ / \ \ | Any child can tell you (( /\ \_ |~~~ that the sole purpose \\ \ `–`| 0f a middle name is so / / / |~~~ he can tell when he’s ___ (_(___)_| really in trouble.
=============================
TWENTY YEARS
Two older gentlemen were talking and one said to the other, “You’re having an anniversary soon, right?”
The other replied, “Yep, a big one, 20 years.”
“Wow,” said the other, “what are you going to get your wife for your anniversary?”
The other replied, “We’re going on a trip to Australia.”
“Wow, Australia, that’s some gift!” said the other man. “That’s going to be hard to beat next year. What are you going to do for your 25th anniversary?”
“Go back and get her.”
=============================
Two lawyers are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the lawyers, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on lawyer number one jams something in lawyer number two’s hand.
Without looking down, lawyer number two whispers, “What is this?” to which lawyer number one replies, “It’s that $100 I owe you.”
=============================
A Gift Idea for Your Children & Grandchildren
http://www.gift4grandchildren.com
=============================
Discussion
No comments for “Golf”