TODAYS RIDDLE:
Can a man legally marry his widow’s sister in the state of California?
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A guy goes into the doctor’s office. There is a banana stuck in one of his ears, a carrot stuck in one nostril, and a cucumber in the other ear.
The man says, “Doc, this is terrible. What’s wrong with me?”
The doctor says, “Well, first of all, you’re not eating right”
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It only rains twice a year in Seattle,Washington: August through April and May through July. _______________
If it is dry – add moisture; if it is moist – add dryness. Congratulations…Now you’re a dermatologist! ________________
I dialed one of those 900 numbers to get some financial advice. They advised me not to dial 900 numbers. __________________
Here I am, a woman attorney, being told I can’t practice law in slacks, by a judge dressed in drag. _______________
Doctor: Did you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory? Patient: What pills?
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ACTUAL NEWSPAPER ADS
The following ads acutally appeared in newspapers:
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FOR SALE: Antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
NOW IS YOUR CHANCE to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
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WANTED: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink
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As a rule . . . Man is a fool. When it’s hot, he wants it cool.
And when it’s cool, he wants it hot, Always wanting what is not.
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“Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?”
Don’t marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper!
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Confucius say, “Man who eat many prunes get good run for money”
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FACTS OF LIFE
Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.
Don’t worry about the world ending today… It’s already tomorrow in Australia. (unless you’re in Australia -then start worrying)
Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think you are.
Drive carefully It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work..
A man usually feels better after a few winks, especially if she winks back.
If at first you don’t succeed … well, so much for sky diving.
A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn’t understand two things: 1 – Women, 2 – Fractions
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RIDDLE ANSWER:
No, because he’s dead.
Discussion
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