TODAYS RIDDLE

A man wanted to enter an exclusive club but did not know the password that was required. He waited by the door and listened. A club member knocked on the door and the doorman said, “twelve.” The member replied, “six ” and was let in. A second member came to the door and the doorman said, “six.” The member replied, “three” and was let in. The man thought he had heard enough and walked up to the door. The doorman said ,”ten” and the man replied, “five.” But he was not let in.

What should have he said?

/\ x x x x x Scroll down for the answer x x x x x Here it comes x x x x x \/

Three. The doorman lets in those who answer with the number of letters in the word the doorman says.

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Shorties:

Noah was the first great financier. Wisely, he floated his stock while everyone else was being liquidated. ________________

I looked at a pair of walking shoes the other day. They cost $120. For that kind of money I could take a cab. ________________

Antiques are things one generation buys, the next generation gets rid of and the following generation buys again. __________________

The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they’ve passed __________________

The Bible says that we came into this world without riches and that we shall take no riches with us into the next.

So, in a sense, stockbrokers are just doing the Lord’s work. ________________

A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, “You should have been here at 8:30!” The guy replies: “Why? What happened at 8:30?”

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One Liners:

The first Ten Commandments are the hardest.

People who are wrapped up in themselves are overdressed.

An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.

If you solved the NY Times’ Sunday’s crossword puzzle, you probably cheated.

You’re getting old when the Hotel leaves Viagra on your pillow, instead of a mint.

A word of advice . . . don’t give it.

A journey of a hundred miles starts with an argument over how to load the car.

To belittle is to be little.

When fear knocks at the door, and you answer, there will be no one there.

You always find something in the last place you look.

Poverty is a condition with but one advantage, it doesn’t take much to improve your lot

Mirror, mirror on the wall . . . what the hell happened?

I don’t think anyone in the world cares if there’s water on the planet Mars.

Ask me about my vow of silence.

Square meals make round people

The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret

You are a Child of G-d. Please call home.

Poverty is when you can’t stop thinking of money.

One must learn how to lose before learning how to play.

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COWS, CONSTITUTION AND TEN COMMANDMENTS

COWS Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington. And they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.

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CONSTITUTION

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it’s worked for over 200 years and we’re not using it anymore.

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EN COMMANDMENTS

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse! You cannot post “Thou Shalt Not Steal,” “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery” and “Thou Shall Not Lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians! It creates a hostile work environment!

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Morris called his insurance salesman neighbor to go over some issues and results of his insurance policy.

As they spoke, he asked, “Say I take this life insurance for my wife today and tomorrow she dies. What will I get?”

The clerk paused before clearly and suspiciously articulating, “Life without parole.”