Murphys Laws (military):

1. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

2. No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.

3. Friendly fire isn’t.

4. The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

5. The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.

6. The buddy system is essential to your survival: it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

7. The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.

8. Incoming fire has the right of way.

9. If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.

10. The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

11. If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.

12. The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.

13. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

14. There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.

15. Don’t be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.

16. If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

17. Tracers work both ways.

18. If you have made it impossible for them to get in, you have made it impossible for you to get out.

19. Try to look unimportant. They may be low on ammo too.

20. Remember: Your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

21. All meeting engagements happen uphill, at night, at the juncture of two or more map sheets.

22. No combat-ready unit ever passed inspection. No inspection-ready unit ever passed combat.

23. If the enemy is in range, so are you.

24. The enemy will attack on two occasions: – when you’re ready for them; – when you’re not ready for them.

25. The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.

26. Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.

27. If you can hear the enemy talking, they are inside your perimeter.

28. If the above applies, it’s time to reconsider your position.

29. If your resupply comes on time, it’ll be the wrong stuff.

30. When you have secured an area, don’t forget to tell the enemy.