From Ninure: I know at least one of these is, in fact, true!!

How do these people survive?

1. Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that you could
have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen
nuggets. “We don’t have half dozen nuggets,” said the teenager at the
counter. “You don’t?” I replied. “We only have six, nine, or twelve,”
was the reply. ‘So I can’t order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order
six?” “That’s right.” So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

2. I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and
the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked
up one of those “dividers” that they keep by the cash register and
placed it between our things so they wouldn’t get mixed. After the girl
had scanned all of my items, she picked up the “divider,” looking it
all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar
code she said to me, “Do you know how much this is?” I said to her
“I’ve changed m y mind, I don’t think I’ll buy that today.” She said
“OK,” and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what
had just happened.

3. A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was
doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking
for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM “thingy.”

4. I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. Do
you need some help?” I asked. She replied, “I knew I should have
replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can’t get into
my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store)
would have a battery to fit this? ” “Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an
alarm, too?” I asked. “No, just this remote thingy,” she answered,
handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually
unlocked the door, I replied, “Why don’t you drive over there and check
about the batteries. It ‘s a long walk.”

5. Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day
she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, “I’m almost out of
typing paper. What do I do?” “Just use copier machine paper,” the
secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank
piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five
“blank” copies.

6. I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home
was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in “Twister.”
I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had
set the “cruise control” and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

7. My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office
of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have
problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in
one of the branch banks who had this question: “I’ve got smoke coming
from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?”

8. Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a
metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
machine. The message “He’s lying” was placed in the copier, and police
pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn’t
telling the truth. Believing the “lie detector” was working, the suspect
confessed.

9. A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs
to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The
dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine,
the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer….. Dispatcher: Rush
him in to emergency!

Pax Christi,
Ninure Saunders aka Rainbow Christian