One netfriend wrote:

What are the realistic and/or acceptable options for Jesus followers, if they come to a point where their discomfort with the dominant Club for Old People paradigm of their local church is acute (admittedly, the discomfort may be on both sides), where worship and congregational life, such as it is, are dissonant and disturbing.

Another responded:

Well, it wasn’t so much the Club for Old People paradigm that bothered me, but I certainly found the difference between what the church preached and the way they (both individuals and the hierarchy) treated (and continue to treat) me both dissonant and disturbing.

A:

Continue to “grin and bear it”? Try and talk things through, again? Find another congregation? Walk away from church life? Or plan B (whatever that might be)?

B:

I think that might be Plan E you were up to 🙂 I would say that any or all of those are possible responses, and indeed probable responses. No-one easily walks away from their social and spiritual network; it’s my view that most would try Plans A, B and C before resorting to Plan D.

My own solution has been to choose a path that offers sufficient spiritual nurturing (through a combination of this list, a new age religion forum, and a clergy abuse survivors group) without forcing myself into a situation where there’s a huge dissonance between my views and those of the group I’m with. That said, I still find the most dissonance here, rather than in the other two groups (which disturbs me somewhat, since it seems the people least able to accept and nurture the pain of my past are those who a) most ought to, and b) most claim to).

A:

William Barclay wrote that followers of Jesus need to stand up and be counted, and that regular attendance at worship was one way of explicitly showing allegiance to Jesus, even if, in his words, “the sermon is tawdry, the hymns dreadful and the people unfriendly”. John Wesley (I think) said that there is no such thing as solitary religion.

What to do?

B:

Dump Wesley and Barclay’s views 🙂 Okay, so that’s flippant, but seriously – their comments were made in an age where practice was different, and theology was different. My challenges to their statements would be:

1) what makes it so important for followers of Jesus to stand up and be counted? ISTM that might be more for the benefit of those with uncertain faith than for the followers themselves.

2) Regular attendance at worship doesn’t explicitly show allegiance to Jesus, it shows allegiance to church. They’re not the same thing.

3) If the sermon is tawdry, the hymns dreadful, and the people unfriendly, surely those who attend ought to be asking themselves why, if they think their lifestyle is so desirable. And why on earth should they expect others (with perhaps a little more discernment and taste) to suffer such a disgusting combination!?

4) No such thing as solitary religion? Well, that depends on your definition of solitary, surely. That makes it sound like a prisoner in isolation can’t be a follower of Jesus. Or someone housebound. Or any other person constrained to solitude. As soon as one accepts the notion of the universal church, any such dismissal of solitary religion is clearly rubbish! And to suggest that physical constraints are the only thing keeping those in solitude there is to invalidate the experience of vast numbers of people for whom church attendance is precluded for other reasons.