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TODAYS RIDDLE:
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What work is it that the faster you work,
the longer it is before you’re done,
and the slower you work,
the sooner you’re finished?
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x
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Scroll down for the answer
x
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x
x
x
Here it comes
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x
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roasting meat on a spit
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Goldie, a middle aged Jewish woman goes to see
a fortune-teller.

She says “Morris and Irving are madly in love with me
and want to marry me! “Who will be the lucky one ? “

The swami answers….” Morris will marry you, and
Irving will be the lucky one. “
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An oldie from the archives:
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A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business
much like his own opened up next door and erected a
huge sign which read ‘BEST DEALS.’
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He was horrified when another competitor opened up on
his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger
sign, reading ‘LOWEST PRICES.’
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The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put the
biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read:
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‘MAIN ENTRANCE’
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Q: What do you call a horse with three sadles?
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A: Texas Limo.
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[Be careful going around corners, as it doesn’t corner well!]

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Warning Signs That You Need A New Lawyer
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You met him in prison.
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During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.
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He tells you that his last good case was a “Budweiser”.
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When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five
each other.
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He picks the jury by playing “duck-duck-goose.”
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During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.
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He asks a hostile witness to “pull my finger.”
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A prison guard is shaving your head.
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OOPS!
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My longtime boarder was moving out, and I needed
an advertisement posted at the local college. A friend
agreed to make one up on her computer and put it on the
school’s bulletin board. I went out of town for a couple
of days, and when I got back, I found a number of strange
messages on my answering machine. Deciding I had better
check out my ad, I went over to the college. And there
it was:
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“Room and Broad, $400 a month.”
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A man and woman were having marriage problems, and decided
to end their union after a very short time together. After a
most brief attempt to reconcile, the couple went to court to
finalize their break-up.
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The judge asked the husband, “What has brought you to this
point, where you are not able to keep this marriage together?”
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The husband said, “In the six weeks we’ve been together,
we haven’t been able to agree on one thing.”
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The wife said, “Seven weeks.”
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The error in this URL has been corrected.
If you’ve tried to connect and couldn’t, please try again.
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http://www.gift4grandchildren.com
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http://www.iShopInt.com/mall.asp?ID=shoponline
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If you would like to be included on my “Clean Humor”
list, send a blank email to jhmaida[at]hotmail.com with
“=Include Me=” as the subject. I do not write the jokes.
I only pass on the ones I think are funny. Laughter is
good for the immune system.
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