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TODAYS RIDDLE:
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What do the numbers 3, 7, 8, 40, 50, and 60 have
in common that no other whole numbers have?

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When spelled out they each have 5 letters.
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John was furious when his steak arrived too rare.

“Waiter,” he shouted, “Didn’t you hear me say ‘well done’?”

“I can’t thank you enough, sir,” replied the waiter.
“I hardly ever get a compliment.”
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A story is told of a Jewish man who was
riding on the subway reading an Arab newspaper.
A friend of his, who happened to be riding in
the same subway car, noticed this strange
phenomenon. Very upset, he approached the
newspaper reader.
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“Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you
reading an Arab newspaper?”
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Moshe replied, “I used to read the Jewish
newspaper, but what did I find? Jews being
persecuted, Israel being attacked, Jews
disappearing through assimilation and
intermarriage, Jews living in poverty. So I
switched to the Arab newspaper. Now what do
I find? Jews own all the banks, Jews control
the media, Jews are all rich and powerful,
Jews rule the world. The news is so much better!”
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RAMBLINGS OF A RETIRED MIND:
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I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those
cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can’t afford
one. So, I’m wearing my garage door opener.
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You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized
that people didn’t like me anyway.
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I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age,
and call it “Pumping Rust.”
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I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That’s when
your chest is falling into your drawers!
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I know, when people see a cat’s litter box, they always say,
“Oh, have you got a cat?”
Just once I want to say, “No, it’s for company!”
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Employment application blanks always ask ‘who is to be
notified in case of an emergency.’ I think you should
write, “A Good Doctor!”
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A little Yugo car smashed into the rear of a Jaguar
as he made a left turn. The driver of the little car
was furious.
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“Why didn’t you put out your hand?” he demanded.
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“What’s the point?” shrugged the driver of a Jaguar.
“If you couldn’t see my Jaguar, how could you see
my hand?”
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Mujibar was trying to get into America legally
through Immigration.
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The Immigration Officer said, “Mujibar, you have
passed all the tests, except there is one more test.
Unless you pass it you cannot enter America.”
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Mujibar said, “I am ready now sir for taking your testing.”
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The officer said, “Make a sentence using the words
Yellow, Pink and Green.”
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Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said,
“Mister Officer, I am ready.”
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The Officer said, “Go ahead.”
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Mujibar said, “The telephone goes green, green, green,
and I pink it up, and say, ‘yellow, this is Mujibar.'”
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Mujibar now lives in a neighborhood near you,
and works at Microsoft on the Help Desk.
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If you would like to be included on my “Clean Humor”
list, send a blank email to jhmaida[at]hotmail.com with
“=Include Me=” as the subject. I do not write the jokes.
I only pass on the ones I think are funny. Laughter is
good for the immune system.
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