TODAYS RIDDLE:
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Manhole Covers:
Why is it better to have round manhole covers
than square ones?

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A square manhole cover can be lifted, turned and
dropped edgewise down the diagonal of the manhole.
A round manhole cover cannot be dropped down the
manhole. So for safety and practicality, all manhole
covers should be round.
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The young bride’s mother had some old-fashioned
ideas of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter.
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“Never let your husband see you in the nude,” she advised.
“You should always wear something.”
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“Yes, mother,” replied the obedient girl.
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Two weeks after the wedding, the girl and her brand-new
husband were preparing to retire when the guy asked,
“Dear, has there ever been any insanity in your family?”
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“Not that I know of,” she answered. “Why?”
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“Well, we’ve been married for two weeks now and every
night you’ve worn that silly hat to bed.”
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A Look At College Life:
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Even though I was an engineering student at the University
of Maryland, chemistry was a required course in my day. The
Professor, on the first day of class, asked everyone to name
the most outstanding contribution chemistry had made to society.
When my turn came, I answered, “Blondes!”
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In one class, the Professor asked anyone to explain how
they would measure the height of a building using an Aneroid
Barometer. One student, short of knowledge but long on ingenuity
replied, “I would lower the barometer on a string and measure
the string.”
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The professor of an economics class asked for an example of
unremunerative outlay of capital. One student replied, “Taking
one’s sister out to dinner and the movies.”
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I sat there waiting for my new doctor to make his way through
the file that contained my very extensive medical history.
After he finished all 17 pages, he looked at me and said,
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“You look better in person than you do on paper.”
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The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling
to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet.
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She had been told the combination, but couldn’t
quite remember it. Finally she went to the pastor’s
study and asked for help.
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The pastor came into the room and began to turn
the dial. After the first two numbers he paused and
stared blankly for a moment. Finally he look serenely
heavenward and his lips moved silently. Then he looked
back at the lock, and quickly turned to the final number,
and opened the lock.
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The teacher was amazed. “I’m in awe at your faith,
pastor,” she said.
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“It’s really nothing,” he answered. “The number is on
a piece of tape on the ceiling.”
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Man: Do you serve breakfast here?
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Waitress: Sure, what’ll it be?
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Man: Let me have watery scrambled eggs…
some burnt toast… and some weak coffee, lukewarm.
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Waitress: Whatever you say, sir
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Man: Now, are you doing anything while that order is
going through.
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Waitress: Why-no , sir.
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Man: Then sit here and nag me awhile……..
I’m feeling homesick.

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If you would like to be included on my “Clean Humor”
list, send a blank email to jhmaida[at]hotmail.com with
“=Include Me=” as the subject. I do not write the jokes.
I only pass on the ones I think are funny. Laughter is
good for the immune system.
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