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TODAYS RIDDLE:

President G. W. Bush is listed as our 42nd president,
but only 41 men have held the office. Why?

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Grover Cleveland held office during 2 nonconsecutive terms.
He was our 22nd and 24th president. Incidentally, his full
name is Stephen Grover Cleveland.
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ONE LINERS:
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A diplomat can keep his shirt on while getting something
off his chest.
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Sermons and biscuits are improved by shortening.

If men knew what women laughed about, they would
never sleep with us.
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If your parachute doesn’t open up for you, you’ve
obviously jumped to a conclusion.
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I’m as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
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When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
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If we knew what we were doing it wouldn’t be called research
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Sign in a travel agency window: “Please go away.”
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Hummingbirds have forgotten the words
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Men want to be really, really close to a woman, who will
leave them alone.
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Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.
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We have the highest standard of living in the world.
Too bad we can’t afford it.
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Anything too stupid to be said . . . is usually sung.
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The only good thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings
to others.
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“Doctor Livingstone, I presume.”
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Just about everyone has heard the phrase Stanley
supposedly said upon finally locating the man he had
searched for through most of Africa:
“Doctor Livingstone, I presume.”
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I’ll bet y’all don’t know the good doctor’s reply though:
“Do you have an appointment?”
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A blonde was sitting on the train reading the newspaper.

The headline blared, “12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed.”

She shook her head at the sad news, then turned to the
stranger sitting next to her and asked,
“How many is a Brazilian?”
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I was commuting from the Borough of Queens
to my job in Manhattan. I’d finished reading the
morning paper and was saving it to bring to
friends on the job.
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How do you save a newspaper on the subway?
You sit on it.
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A new commuter came in, saw the newspaper
under my rear end and asked the second most
stupid question I’ve ever heard, “Are you reading
that paper?”
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I stood up, turned the page, sat right back down
on the paper and answered, “Yes.”
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Family Tradition…A Classic
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A young couple got married, and when the wife prepared to bake
a ham to celebrate their first Thanksgiving, she carefully cut
off each end before placing it in the pan. Her husband asked
her why she did that and she replied, “I don’t know–it’s what
my mother always did. But I can ask her.”
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She called Mom, who responded, “I always saw your Grandma
do it, so I did the same.”
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They decided to check further, so the young bride then called
Grandma, who explained, “It was the only way I could get it to
fit into my pan.”
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If you would like to be included on my “Clean Humor”
list, send a blank email to jhmaida[at]hotmail.com with
“=Include Me=” as the subject. I do not write the jokes.
I only pass on the ones I think are funny. Laughter is
good for the immune system.
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