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TODAYS RIDDLE:
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I know a word of letters three.
Add two, and fewer there will be.

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‘few’
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Half Awake:
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In this particular branch of the Army’s officer training school,
the instructor was returning a test. The students identified their
work by the last four digits of their Social Security number. In
the early hours of a morning, the instructor was calling the
numbers.
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“Four-seven-seven-zero?” he asked.
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“Here,” replied one half-awake lieutenant-to-be. Taking the
paper, though, he realized he had mistakenly asked for the
wrong paper.
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“Seven-zero-seven-five?” asked the instructor.
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“Here,” repeated the student, gearing for trouble.
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“I thought you were four-seven-seven-zero, soldier,” spoke the
teacher.
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“That’s right, sir,” answered our hero. “I have a nick-number.”
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Have you heard about the pharmaceutical company that developed
a new drug which, when administered to women, compels them to
go join a convent? The FDA refused to license it, though.
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Seems it was habit-forming.
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Circulation:
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Soon after marriage, Terri’s husband, Colby stopped
wearing his wedding ring. Terri asked, “Why don’t you
ever wear your wedding band?”
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Colby replied, “It cuts off my circulation.”
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Terri answered back, “It’s supposed to!”
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Slogans:
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A class professor was giving a lecture on company
slogans and was asking his students if they were
familiar with them.
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“Joe,” he asked, “which company has the slogan,
‘come fly the friendly skies’?”
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Joe answered the correct airline.
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“Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan,
“Don’t leave home without it?”
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Brenda answered the correct credit card company with
no difficulty.
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“Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan,
‘Just do it’?”
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And John answered, “Mom….”
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I have this friend who always seemed to lean slightly to the
left all the time. It used to bother me, so I suggested he
see a doctor, and have his legs checked out.
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For years, he refused… told me I was crazy. But last week,
he finally went, and sure enough, the doctor discovered hisl
eft leg was 1/4″ shorter than his right.
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A quick bit of orthopedic surgery later, he was cured, and
both legs are exactly the same length now, and he no longer
leans.
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“So,” I said, “You didn’t believe me when I told you a doctor
could fix your leg.”
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He just looked at me and said, “I, stand corrected.”
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Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida, are
all excited about their decision to get married. They go
for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they
pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
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Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: “Are you the
owner?”
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The pharmacist answers, “Yes.”
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Jacob: “We’re about to get married. Do you sell heart
medication?”
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Pharmacist: “Of course we do.”
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Jacob: “How about medicine for circulation?”
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Pharmacist: “All kinds.”
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Jacob: “Medicine for rheumatism and scoliosis?”
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Pharmacist: “Definitely.”
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Jacob: “How about Viagra?”
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Pharmacist: “Of course.”
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Jacob: “Medicine for memory problems, arthritis,
jaundice?”
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Pharmacist: “Yes, a large variety. The works.”
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Jacob: “What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol,
antidotes for Parkinson’s disease?”
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Pharmacist: “Absolutely.”
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Jacob: “You sell wheelchairs and walkers?”
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Pharmacist: “All speeds and sizes.”
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Jacob: “We’d like to use this store as our Bridal Registry.”