The monastery out in Wessex was having a bit of a hard time with its cash flow, because of the dwindling number of monks available to help with all the work of the group. Brother Andrew and Brother Patrick suggested opening up a Fish & Chips stand down on the motorway, right next to the scenic vista area so popular with tourists. The venture was going well, and one day a tourist asked the monk on duty, “Are you the fish friar?” “No, sir,” retorted the brother, “I’m the chip monk.”

There is a story floating around cyberspace about a man who tried to run a symphony orchestra, but he was doing such a lousy job that the orchestra threatened to quit “en masse”. The music oversight committee condemned him to death by electrocution. Their plan failed, however, because the man was such a poor conductor. Yuk, yuk, yuk.

Choose your profession carefully. A cross-eyed teacher will always have trouble with her pupils. If you decide to go into bee keeping, don’t be surprised if you end up with hives. Carpet layers will find their job depressing because people are always looking down on their work. And some cowboys get so bowlegged that they can no longer keep their calves together.

Other people have more successful careers. One student chose archeology as a profession and was happy to find his career in ruins. Another fellow was an excellent magician: one day he was walking down the street and suddenly turned into a department store!

An energetic woman decided not to become a candlemaker (even though she would only have to work on wick ends). She preferred to become a dermatologist, even though she had to start her business from scratch.

But it is time to stop this nonsense and get back to my job. I’m beginning to feel like the butcher who accidentally backed into the meat grinder — getting a little behind in my work, you see ….