TODAYS RIDDLE:
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I hear: “It, It, It, It, …”
You hear: “I_, I_, I_, I_, …”
Why ?

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Scroll down for the answer
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Here it comes
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You will not hear the end of It.
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Only two percent of men kiss their wife goodbye
when they leave their house.
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Ninety eight percent of men kiss their house goodbye
when they leave their wife!!
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The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on
mental health and was giving an oral test.
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Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked,
“How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth
screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in
a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?”
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A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered,
“A basketball coach?”
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My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.
So I got myself two girlfriends.
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The Cohens were shown into the dentist’s office,
where Mr. Cohen made it clear he was in a big hurry.
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“No fancy stuff, Doctor,” he ordered. “No gas or needles
or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with.”
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“I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you,”
said the dentist admiringly. “Now, which tooth is it?”
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Mr. Cohen turned to his wife…
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“Show him your tooth, Honey.”
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A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been
feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and
comes back with three different bottles of pills.

The doctor says, “Take the green pill with a big glass of
water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass
of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take
the red pill with another big glass of water.”

Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers,
“Jeez doc, exactly what’s my problem?”

Doctor says, “You’re not drinking enough water.”
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On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental
company, I took a call from a driver who needed a tow.
He was stranded on a busy highway, but he didn’t know
the make of the car he was driving.
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I asked again for a more detailed description beyond
“a blue four-door.”
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After a pause, the driver replied, “It’s the one on fire.”