If you think life is a bit rough – with apologies to any nurses…

A general was visiting a field hospital, close to the lines, seeking to rally the sad and sorry.

In one ward, he spoke to the soldier in the first bed. “What’s your problem, son?” “Sir, I have an ulcerated leg!” “What’s the treatment?” “Antisceptic and a wire brush, sir!” “And what’s your ambition, soldier?” “To get back to the front and kill the enemy sir!”

At the second bed, he asked the patient about his complaint. “Sir, I have piles!” “What’s the treatment?” “Antisceptic and a wire brush, sir!” “And what’s your ambition, soldier?” “To get back to the front and kill the enemy sir!”

He asked the next patient what was wrong with him “Sir,” croaked the man, “I have tonsilitis!” “What’s the treatment?” “Antisceptic and a wire brush, sir!” “And what’s your ambition, soldier?” “Sir, just once, I’d like to be the first with the wire brush!”