TODAYS RIDDLE

A man drove to the store. He got out, and
accidentally locked his keys in the car. He went
in the store, and bought some milk. He came
back out and unlocked the door without touching
“anything” on the outside of the car (all windows
were shut).

How did he do it?

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The car was a convertible and he reached inside to
open the door.
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A little old man was escorted into the witness box. After
being sworn in, the lawyer asked him to explain what happened.
After a lengthy discussion of the events leading up to the
incident, he finally got around to the meat of the case.
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“…and then she hit me with a maple leaf.”
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“Surely that couldn’t have caused you any serious injury?”
said the lawyer.
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“Are you kidding?” exclaimed the old man. “It was the leaf
from the center of our dining room table.”
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DEAR PASTOR
(letters from the kids)
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Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He
never met my sister.
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Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter
Peterson has been a good boy all week. I am Peter
Peterson.
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Dear Pastor, My father should be a minister. Every
day he gives us a sermon about something.
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Dear Pastor, I’m sorry I can’t leave more money in
the plate, but my father didn’t give me a raise in my
allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise in
my allowance?
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Dear Pastor, My mother is very religious. She goes to
play bingo at church every week even if she has a cold.
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Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven someday
because I know my brother won’t be there.
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Dear Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to
your church if you moved it to Disneyland.
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Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon where you said that
good health is more important than money but I still
want a raise in my allowance.
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Dear Pastor, Please pray for all the airline pilots. I
am flying to California tomorrow.
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Dear Pastor, I hope to go to heaven some day but
later than sooner.
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Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League
team. We need God’s help or a new pitcher. Thank you.
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Dear Pastor, My father says I should learn the
Ten Commandments. But I don’t think I want to
because we have enough rules already in my house.
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Dear Pastor, Who does God pray to? Is there a
God for God?
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Dear Pastor, Are there any devils on earth? I think
there may be one in my class.
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Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon on Sunday.
Especially when it was finished.
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Dear Pastor, How does God know the good people
from the bad people? Do you tell Him or does He
read about it in the newspapers?
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Classic Headlines :
———————————-

Collegians are Turning to Vegetables

March Planned For Next August

Blind Bishop Appointed To See

Lingerie Shipment Hijacked – Thief Gives Police The Slip

Patient At Death’s Door – Doctors Pull Him Through

If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last A While

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Defendants Speech Ends in Long Sentences

Quarter of a Million Chinese Live on Water

Farmer Bill Dies in House

Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
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Trying to control my dry hair, I treated my scalp with olive
oil before washing it. Worried that the oil might leave an
odor, I washed my hair several times. That night when I went
to bed, I leaned over to my husband and asked, “Do I smell
like olive oil?”
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“No,” he said, sniffing me. “Do I smell like Popeye?”
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A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman.
Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role.
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“Well,” he replied, “the pay is good and the hours aren’t bad, but
what I like best is that the customer is always wrong.”