Sacred cows make the best hamburger. — Mark Twain

2 wrongs don’t make a right but 3 lefts do.

Atheism: a non-prophet organization.

Blessed are the pessimistic, for they hath made many backups.

Here’s a list of some of my best friends:

Rocco Ages, Dale E. Bread, Hal E. Luhaw, Ima B. Leever, Neal N. Pray, Pearl E. Gates

and some of my worst enemies:

Eve Hill, Gill T. Azell and his cousin Gill T. S. Charged, Helena Handbasket, Moe Lester, Mac Homan, Gay B. Asher

Got a question. What’s the nicest thing about egotists? They don’t talk about other people.