QUIPS & QUOTES

Collaboration, n.: A literary partnership based on the false assumption that the other fellow can spell.

“Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.” Abraham Lincoln

“As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.” Albert Einstein

“What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.” Woody Allen

A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep.

“Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an art.” Charles McCabe

Hlade’s Law: If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person. They will find an easier way to do it.

Taxes, n.: Of life’s two certainties, the only one for which you can get an extension.

At the source of every error that is blamed on the computer, you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer.

There are three ways to get something done: 1. Do it yourself. 2. Hire someone to do it for you. 3. Forbid your kids to do it.

A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.

“There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it.” C.S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia