TODAYS RIDDLE :

I always point in the right direction. My instructions are written in black and white. Disobey me and pay the consequences. I will never say more than two words at a time. What am I?

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A “ONE WAY” Sign . ========================== . Judi was walking by the jewelry store one day in the midtown mall. She saw a diamond bracelet that she really liked. In the store she went.

“Excuse me,” she said to the saleslady behind the counter, “Will a small deposit hold that bracelet until my husband does something unforgivable?” . ========================== . Several women, each trying to one-up the other, appeared in court, each accusing the others of causing the trouble they were having in the apartment building where they lived.

The judge, with Solomon-like wisdom decreed,

“Okay, I’m ready to hear the evidence… I’ll hear the oldest first.”

The case was dismissed for lack of testimony. . ========================== . Little Johnny asked and received help from a librarian on how to use the card catalog. In a little while, he approached the librarian again, wanting to know how to spell “tequila”. . “T-e-q-u-i-l-a,” spelled the librarian, and Little Johnny thanked her and went back to his search. . A short time later he came to the desk, looking quite distraught. “I just can’t find it,” he said.

“What book are you looking for?” the librarian asked.

Replied Little Johnny, “Tequila Mockingbird.” . ========================== . Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as a sales person. Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true: . Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.

Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows… Work/Time = Power

Since Knowledge = Power, and Time = Money, we have Work/Money = Knowledge

Solving for Money, we get Work/Knowledge = Money

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.

Conclusion: The Less you Know, the more you Make ! . ========================== . “Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas,” little Joshua said to his uncle the first time he saw him after the holidays. “It’s the best Christmas present I ever got.”

“That’s great,” said his uncle. “Do you know how to play it?”

“Oh, I don’t play it,” the little fellow said. “My mom gives me a dollar a day not to play it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to play it at night.”