. TODAYS RIDDLE :

I know a word of letters three, add two and fewer there will be. What’s the word ?

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Few . ========================== . The psychiatrist was interviewing a first-time patient. “You say you’re here,” he inquired, “because your family is worried about your taste in socks?”

“That’s correct,” muttered the patient. “I like wool socks.”

“But that’s perfectly normal,” replied the doctor. “Many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic. In fact, I myself like wool socks.”

“You DO?” exclaimed the man. “With oil and vinegar or just a squeeze of lemon?” . ========================== . Thoughts for Those Who Take Life Too Seriously :

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Remember, half the people you know are below average.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Support bacteria. It’s the only culture some people have.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

Get a new car for your spouse. It’ll be a great trade!

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

========================== . A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see the new litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, “There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens.”

“How did you know that?” his mother asked.

“Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,” he replied. “I think it’s printed on the bottom.” . ========================== . It’s all a matter of perspective, I guess!

Two guys from Daniels County are a sittin’ in a boat at Fort Peck, Montana, fishing and suckin’ down beer, when all of a sudden Charlie says, “I think I’m going to divorce my wife, she hasn’t spoken to me in over 6 months.”

Earl sips his beer for a moment and says,

“You better think it over, women like that are mighty hard to find.” . ========================== . “I have good news and bad news,” the defense attorney told his client. “First the bad news. The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with that found at the crime scene.”

“Oh, no!” cried the client. “What’s the good news?”

“Your cholesterol is only 180.” . ========================== . MY SITES : . http://www.gift4grandchildren.com/ . http://go.to/ushoponline . ==========================

If you would like to be included on my “Clean Humor” list, send a blank email to jhmaida[at]hotmail.com with “=Include Me=” as the subject. I do not write the jokes. I only pass on the ones I think are funny. Laughter is good for the immune system. . ==========================