Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally, his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.

“So how was it?” his mother asked when they returned home.

“Great,” Little Johnny replied.

“Did you and your father have a good time?” asked his mother.

“Yeah, Daddy especially liked it,” exclaimed Little Johnny excitedly, “especially when one of the animals came racing home at 30 to 1!” . ========================== . A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.” . The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings.” . “Don’t make such a big deal, it’s only an earring,” he replies sheepishly. . His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prodshim to say, “So, how long have you been wearing one?” . “Ever since my wife found it in my truck.” . ========================== . Chaim Potok, the best selling author and an unlikely art connoisseur, telephoned his mother and told her that he had just bought a Rubens.

“Rubin? Rubin the delicatessen man?”

“No, Mama, Rubens is a painter,” he explained kindly.

“Oh, this I didn’t know,” she said breathlessly. “Listen, Chaim, ask him how much he’ll charge to paint the kitchen!” . ========================== . A blonde holding a baby walks into a drug store and asks the clerk if she can use the store’s baby scale.

“Sorry, ma’am,” says the clerk. “Our baby scale is broken. But we can figure the baby’s weight if we weigh mother and baby together on the adult scale, and then weigh the mother alone, and subtract the second number from the first.”

“Oh, that won’t work,” says the blonde.

“Why not?” asks the clerk.

“Because,” she answers, “I’m not the mother – I’m the aunt.” . ========================== . A judge enters the courtroom, strikes the gavel and says, “Before I begin this trial, I have an announcement to make. The lawyer for the defense has paid me $15,000 to swing the case his way. The lawyer for the plaintiff has paid me $10,000 to swing the case her way.

In order to make this a fair trial, I am returning $5,000 to the defense.”