COMPUTERS.

The computer swallowed Grandma; yes honestly it’s true ! She pressed “Control” and “Enter” then disappeared from view.

It devoured her completely; the thought just makes me squirm, She must have caught a virus, or been eaten by a worm.

Grandpa searched through recycle bin and files of every kind, The reply was negative, not a thing was found “online.”

So, if inside your “INbox” my Grandma you should see, Please “Copy”, “Scan” and “Paste” and send her back to Grandpa and me.

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CHILDREN.

A six year old ran up and down the supermarket aisles shouting frantically “MARIAN”, MARIAN !” Finally reunited with his mother, she chided him, “You shouldn’t call me Marian, I’m your mother you know,” “I know,” said the child, “But the store is full of mothers.”

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GRAMMAR —- GENDER

An English teacher wrote the words, ” Woman without her man is nothing” on the blackboard and asked the students to punctuate this so that it made sense.

The boys wrote: “Woman, without her man, is nothing.”

The girls wrote: “Woman ! Without her, man is nothing !”

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LAW

A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speedsters, but wasn’t getting many. Then he discovered the problem. A 10 year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read “RADAR TRAP AHEAD “

The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading ‘TIPS” and a bucket full of change.

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Why is it that when you transport something by car it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship it’s called cargo ?

Many people die of thirst, but the Irish are born with one !

Said Hamlet to Ophelia: “I’ll do a sketch of thee, what kind of pencil shall I use ? 2b or not 2b ?