An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door.

“Where would you like to sit?” he asked politely.

“The front row, please,” she answered.

“You really don’t want to do that,” the usher said. “This minister is really boring.”

“Do you happen to know who I am?” the woman inquired.

“No,” he said.

“I’m the minister’s mother,” she replied indignantly.

“Do you know who I am?” he asked.

“No,” she said.

“Good,” he answered.

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. A Few Thoughts On Marriage :

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. —– Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. —– Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. —– Milton Berle

When women are depressed, they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking. —– Elaine Boosler

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. —– Phyllis Diller

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. When Art learned that he was being fired, he went to see the head of human resources. “Since I’ve been with the firm for so long,” he said, “I think I deserve at least a letter of recommendation.”

The human resources director agreed and said he’d have the letter that next day. The following morning, Art found the letter on his desk. It read, “Art worked for our company for eleven years. When he left us, we were very satisfied.”

. ==========================

. Professor: You can’t sleep in my class!

Student: If you didn’t talk so loud, I could.