I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

— Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman: “And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?” the reporter asked. She simply replied, “No peer pressure.”

— Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, “How old was your husband?” “98,” she replied. “Two years older than me.” “So you’re 96,” the undertaker commented. She responded, “Hardly worth going home, is it?

— An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Kmart. “Kmart?” the preacher exclaimed. “Why Kmart?” “Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week .”

—My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.

— Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

—Don’t think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.

– –THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now, I think you’re supposed to send this to 5 or 6, maybe 10. Oh heck, send it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are.