I’m My Own Grandpaw

Many, many years ago when I was twenty three,

I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be.

This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red.

My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed.

This made my dad my son in-law and it really changed my life,

For now my daughter was my mother, for she was my father’s wife.

And to complicate the matter (even though it gave me joy)

I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became a brother in-law to dad,

And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad.

For if he were my uncle then that also made him brother

Of the widow’s grown-up daughter who was of course now my stepmother.

My father’s wife then had a son, who kept them on the run,

And he became my grandchild for he was my daughter’s son.

My wife is now my stepmother’s mother, and it makes me blue,

For even though she is my wife, she’s my grandmother too!

Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I’m her grandchild,

And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild.

Because now I have become the strangest case you ever saw:

As husband of my grandmother I am now my own grandpaw.

Oh, I’m my own grandpaw!

I’m my own grandpaw!

It sounds funny I know, but it really is so!

I’m my own grandpaw!