TODAYS RIDDLE :

Construction of a stronger and more massive bell tower for the monastery to replace the one destroyed during the last civil strife with a neighboring lord was well underway when the old Monk visited the site. The Abbot showed the Monk the drawings and model for the three-bell tower. The Monk was impressed until he stood where the bell chamber would be and saw the spiral staircase in this medieval bell tower running the wrong direction (counterclockwise).

“The staircase direction must be changed,” said the Old Monk. The Abbot looked at the staircase and agreed. Why? /\ x

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Spiral staircases in medieval castles and towers were run clockwise. This is because all knights had to be right-handed. When the intruding army would climb the stairs they would not be able to use their right hand, which was holding the sword because of the difficulties of climbing the stairs, giving clear advantage to the defenders. Many of the orders of clergy had military training in order to defend monasteries and Abbeys during the middle ages.

Left-handed people could never become knights because it was assumed that they were descendants of the devil.

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. “Camping Tips”

Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping. Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.

A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.

A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck.

You can start a fire without matches by eating Mexican food, then breathing on a pile of dry sticks.

In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband of your underwear.

The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.

The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations. The sight of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle.

It’s entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding mountain road behind a large motor home.

Effective January 1, 2001, you will actually have to enlist in the Swiss Army to get a Swiss Army Knife.

In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used to strangle a snoring tent mate.

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. Mujibar was trying to get a job in India

The Personnel Manager said, “Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it you cannot qualify for this job.”

Mujibar said, “I am ready”

The manager said, “Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green.”

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, “Mister manager, I am ready”

The manager said, “Go ahead.”

Mujibar said, “The telephone goes green, green, and I pink it up, and say, ‘Yellow, this is Mujibar.'”

Mujibar now works as a technician at a call center for computer problems.

No doubt you have spoken to him.

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. Random Quips :

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Life is sexually transmitted.

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, “Quit while you’re ahead?”

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

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. A debt collector knocked on the door of a country debtor. “Is Fred home?” he asked the woman who answered the door.

“Sorry,” the woman replied. “Fred’s gone for cotton.”

The next day the collector tried again. “Is Fred here today?”

“No, sir,” she said, “I’m afraid Fred has gone for cotton.”

When he returned the third day he humphed, “I suppose Fred is gone for cotton again?”

“No,” the woman answered solemnly, “Fred died yesterday.”

Suspicious that he was being avoided, the collector decided to wait a week and investigate the cemetery himself. But sure enough, there was poor Fred’s tombstone, with this inscription: “Gone, But Not for Cotton.”

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. New Sport :

First man: My wife suggested that I take up a new sport this summer.

Second man: Well, that’s nice. It shows that she has your interests at heart. Did she make any suggestions?

First man: As a matter of fact, she did. By the way, how do you play this Russian Roulette?