TODAYS RIDDLE :

A man worked for a high-security institution, and one day he went in to work only to find that he could not log in to his computer terminal. His password wouldn’t work. Then he remembered that the passwords are reset every month for security purposes. So he went to his boss and they had this conversation: Man-“Hey boss, my password is out of date.” Boss-“Yes, that’s right. The password is different, but if you listen carefully you should be able to figure out the new one: It has the same amount of letters as your old password, but only four of the letters are the same.” Man: “Thanks boss.” With that, he went and correctly logged into his station.

What was the new password?

BONUS: What was his old password?

Scroll down for the answer

o

o

o

o

o

o

Here it comes

o

o

o

o

o

The old one was : Out of date

The new one is: Different

He said: My password is “Out of date.” And the boss told him the new one when he said: “The password is different.”

===========================

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, “I’m going to mop the floor with your face.”

I said, “You’ll be sorry.”

He said, “Oh, yeah? Why?”

I said, “Well, you won’t be able to get into the corners very well.”

===========================

One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?”

Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while, and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of Grandma’s hairs are white?”

===========================

A Jewish father was troubled by the way his son turned out, and went to see his Rabbi about it.

“I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive bar mitzvah, and it cost me a fortune to educate him. Then, he tells me last week he has decided to be a Christian! Rabbi, where did I ever go wrong?”

“Funny you should come to me,” said the Rabbi. “Like you I, too, brought my boy up in the faith, put him through the University; he cost me a fortune, then one day he, too, tells me he has decided to become a Christian.”

“What did you do?” asked the father.

“I turned to God for the answer” replied the Rabbi.

“And what did he say?” pressed the father.

“God said,

‘Funny you should come to me…’ “

===========================

One-Liners :

Outside an auto-repair shop in Danboro, Pennsylvania: “Wreck Amended.”

A note on a taxidermist’s window in New England boasts: “We really know our stuff.”

Take only what is given. Own nothing but your robes and an alms bowl. Unless, of course, you have the closet space in the master bedroom.

===========================

Quotes & Quips :

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. –Doug Lars

I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! –Tom Lehrer

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. –Rod Serling

Television – a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well-done. –Ernie Kovacs

Always remember this: If you don’t attend the funerals of your friends, they will certainly not attend yours. –H.L. Mencken

A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author. –G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936)

Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money. –Joey Bishop