* I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

* Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

* Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

* The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

* To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

* When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

* The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

* A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

* If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

* When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

* A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

* A plateau is a high form of flattery.

* When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.