A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a rabbi all served as chaplains at Northern Michigan University. They regularly got together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, one of them commented that preaching to people isn’t all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.

Father Flannery, with his arm in a sling, various other bandages and was on crutches, went first. “Well,” he said, “I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.”

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip in his other arm. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, “WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don’t sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God’s HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus.”

The priest and the preacher both looked down at the hospital bed where the rabbi was lying in a in a body cast, with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape. Then he looked up and said softly: “Looking back on it, maybe circumcision was not the best way for me to start.”