From the Welcoming Committee at an Unnamed Seeker-Friendly Church… Welcome, potential member!

We were very glad to see your face in our congregation this past Sunday morning, and we hope you will return next Sunday to worship with us again. We would like to take this opportunity to provide some useful tips and instructions to enhance the worship service experience for everyone:

– The “dude with the long hair” is Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

– Traditional hymns are introduced with a simple organ chord in the appropriate key. Shouting “One! Two! Three! Four!” (or its equivalent in any foreign language) is neither required nor encouraged.

– We offer open communion to all who wish to partake. When communion is offered by intinction, please dip only the bread provided for this purpose. No provision has been made for “seconds,” so please eat a proper breakfast before attending services.

– It is generally considered inefficient and impolite to “make change” from the offering plate.

– Please do not improvise during call-and-response readings from the bulletin.

– “Amen” is pronounced like ahhh men, not aimin’ or ‘Ey, man.

– Our pew cushions are indeed very comfortable, but are designed for use in an upright, seated position.

– During the Time of Prayer, bow your head respectfully; if you cannot pray or do not know how, at least be quiet. You’ll have plenty of company.

See you again soon!

The Welcoming Committee

By Dale Dobson

June 2006

from http://www.wittenburgdoor.com/archives/welcomingcommittee.html