The law of avoiding oversell – When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.

The law of common sense – Never accept a drink from a urologist.

The law of self sacrifice – When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.

Boob’s law – You always find something in the last place you look.

Weiler’s law – Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn’t have to do it himself.

Law of probable dispersion – Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Law of volunteer labour – People are always available for work in the past tense.

Conway’s law – In any organisation there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.

Iron law of distribution – Them that has, gets.

Law of cybernetic entomology – There is always one more bug.

Law of drunkenness – You can’t fall off the floor.

Heller’s law – The first myth of management is that it exists.

Osborne’s law – Variables won’t; constants aren’t.

Main’s law – For every action there is an equal and opposite government programme.